Why greetings adoring fans! Geordi here and I have a small confession to make. You all know what a wonderful, benevolent king I am. (Yes, thank you, it’s true). But I have recently discovered, that despite my qualities, there are certain limits to my rule and reign. Let me explain!
It all started when my family … er… subjects decided to visit an island. I quickly realized the opportunity this presented — this island is pretty and has real grass and lots of fun geckos to chase! Why not continue my grand campaign and claim it as my own?! I don’t have an island in my territory yet!
However, there was a pack of rebel dogs that inexplicably did not wish to acknowledge my claim over their island. Their king decided a sneak attack was in order. He bit me! ME! Geordi, supreme ruler of all I see and he bites me! How dare he!!!
The battle was furious, and I was heavily outnumbered. The rebel king tried to bite me more than once, but my dad bravely rescued me. My mom cried a lot but I showed her I was fine and proceeded to stalk the geckos the very next day. After all, who will keep my subjects safe from those pesky lizards, if not their king! As my welcome had run out, I soon chose to retire to my own territory. I was sooo tired on the way back to the city, but I met a nice EMI intern… er.. attendant whom I like, so I decided to let her hold me.
Upon my return, my parents.. uh.. advisers suggested we visit the good-smelling European lady. She is kind, but she always gives me the strangest combination of new concoctions and fashions to try, normally via a shot in my rear! This time she shaved my side. She says having just one side shaved is all the rage in France. She also provided me a rather flamboyant collar to wear. Now my attendants are tending to my wound morning and night and giving me medicine. I like the medicine. It tastes like peanut butter. I don’t like the stuff they put on my side though. If my mom isn’t looking I try to wipe it off on the blanket or sofa or my mom’s shirt, whatever is closest.
Never fear! I am safe, healing and will be back to guard duties as soon as I can convince my parents that I don’t need to wear this ridiculous outfit anymore!